'I was forced by his family to make her a bridesmaid': Bride chooses revealing dresses for bridal party in attempt to persuade an entitled bridesmaid to step down

Author image for Isabella Penn
Isabella Penn
Jan 3, 2024 2:00 PM EST

We all know the struggle of finding the most gorgeous dress online, only to purchase it and realize it doesn't look the same on you. It happens to the best of us. But how the heck are we supposed to accommodate for eight bridesmaids? No one really talks about the often-overlooked stress that comes with bridesmaid dress shopping. Honestly, it can be even more challenging than finding your own wedding dress. You're dealing with women of various heights, sizes, body shapes, and skin tones—trying to find a single dress that flatters everyone seems impossible.

Many brides nowadays are transitioning into letting their bridesmaids choose their own dresses as long as they are within a certain color scheme. I think this is a great idea to take the stress off of yourself while still making everyone happy. But ultimately, it doesn't matter what I think, what you think, or what any of the bridesmaids think. The only opinion that should matter is the bride's. Most of us who've been bridesmaids can agree that our dresses aren't always our cup of tea. That's just how these things go. But as a bride, would you choose a dress you knew one of your bridesmaids wouldn't like just because you wanted her to drop out of the bridal party? Keep reading below about a bride who did exactly that. 

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  • 01
    Posted by u/BeautifulExplorer363 4 hours ago ^ AITA for picking a "revealing"bridesmaid dress in order to get one of my bridesmaids to drop
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  • 02
    So this has been a long thing coming. My soon to be husband has a sister let's call her Mia. Now Mia and I do not click very well. I am polite but I
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  • 03
    wouldn't say we are friends. I felt I was forced by his family to make her a bridesmaid or she will be sad. I am going to be blunt, Mia is
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  • 04
    fat and very insecure about it. This has led bridesmaid dresses shopping to be a nightmare. Never could find something she wants and all the other bridesmaid and me
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  • 05
    liking it. So I gave everyone two options to vote on. Option one was getting a dress that can be styled multiple ways, or picking from a collection so everyone matches but they will need to pay for it. Option
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  • 06
    two was I will buy everyone's dress but what I chose the dress and my decision is final. My five bridesmaids voted and options two won. So I picked
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  • 07
    out a blue strapless dress with a mini slit. I really like it and I knew Mia would have an issue with it. I sent a picture to all the bridesmaid and confirming the right size before I ordered it.
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  • 08
    This is where it blew up. Mia was ped I picked a revealing dress. This resulted in an argument where she thinks I am a huge j k and I told her she can step down if she has issues with the dress.
    via u/BeautifulExplorer363
  • 09
    She tried to get the family on her side but everyone knows I gave them options and had watched me struggle to find something everyone wants.
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  • 10
    Edit: she voted for the option where I pay for the dress. I truly didn't ask her since her and MIL announced she was one of my bridesmaid at a family gathering. The only way
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  • 11
    to keep peace with the whole family was basically giving her what she wanted. I also have gone to 4 different shops to find a dress for everyone.
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  • 12
    Certain-Chemistry756 3 hr. ago Going against the current grain I say NTA. The ah here is MIL and Mia. MIL for announcing Mia is bridesmaid, Mia for being difficult. I'm fat and if I don't fit the same dress as everyone else, I'd have voted for buying my own from a collection. Mia could still ask for this IF you are willing to compromise, again. Your fiancée has your back.
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  • 13
    RebeccaMCullen - 2 hr. ago Partassipant [1] Yeah, OP gave two options, either they choose their own same but different dress, or OP chooses for them, and it was Mia who was making it difficult for everyone else to find a dress without OP paying for it.
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  • 14
    Magical Sock_821 · 3 hr. ago ΝΤΑ You were told Mia would be a bridesmaid and put into an awkward position by your MIL & SIL They ambushed you at a family gathering where they knew you would be outnumbered should you object.
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  • 15
    She voted for you to buy the dress and she doesn't get to throw a fit now. She can step down or deal. Her insecurities aren't your problem.
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  • 16
    blackmathgic. 3 hr. ago. edited 2 hr. ago NTA I was gonna say Y.T.A from the title, but reading the whole story I see you said that Mia also picked the option where you pay but get final say, and that MIL announced Mia as a bridesmaid without your consent and you just went along to keep the peace.
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  • 17
    This generally seems like they want their cake and to eat it too. They want Mia to be a bridesmaid and to pick whatever dress she wants, but also to have you pay for it. That was never an option.
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  • 18
    I think picking it specifically because you knew she wouldn't like it makes you minorly TA, but in the end it's your wedding, she agreed to take what she got, and she can't be mad because what she got isn't her favorite. They've already been stepping over your boundaries, so I think your pretty justified in not making special accommodations for her at this point.
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  • 19
    a QuickgetintheTARDIS · 3 hr. ago ESH. Your MIL for trying to shoehorn Mia as a bridesmaid, and you for not having a backbone to say that you will not have Mia as a bridesmaid but would be thrilled to find a role for her elsewhere in the wedding i.e. doing a reading or something just as important.
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  • 20
    Neither of you are doing Mia any favors by coddling her instead of enforcing the crucial "not everything is going to go your way" lesson from the start.
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  • 21
    Cheezburger Image 9860160256
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aita bride wedding party bridesmaids malicious compliance sister-in-law siblings bridal party petty wedding entitled fiancé bridezilla Reddit Maid Of Honor
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